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BY TARIQ KHONJI |
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It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. Here are some lessons in washroom etiquette, which I offer as a public service. You're welcome. It's obvious to the casual observer that very few men in Bahrain wash their hands after using the bathroom. (I don't visit the ladies' room very often, but I suspect women are somewhat cleaner.) And it's not just the poor and unsophisticated either; I've personally witnessed CEOs and decision-makers at the highest level who are guilty of it. Think about this the next time you shake someone's hand at a gala dinner, conference or the golf course. Perhaps the only people worse are the 'gazers'; when you are using the urinal, you can look up, straight ahead at the wall, or down. There is no left or right! And no talking whatsoever... nothing is more irritating that when the guy next to you turns and says, "Hey, how you doin'? Nice day today!" Good for you. I don't come here to socialise, leave me alone! No singing or whistling either and, of course, no touching! And if you wear a thobe, please use one of the cubicles because otherwise you just look ridiculous. When one or more of the urinals are in use, you should, whenever possible, keep an empty one between you and the next man. You'd think this would be instinctive, but not for everyone it appears... Some women seem to have similar issues. A girl remarked to me: "Eww! How can guys do it when everyone can see and hear you? I couldn't stand it! Ewwwwww!" She won't even go when there is another woman in the cubicle next to hers, choosing instead to wait until the other person finishes. Ahh... but what happens when you get two women with the same complex using adjacent cubicles at the same time? Deadlock! "What happened to Mona and Sarah?" "I don't know, they went to the ladies' room two hours ago and no one's heard from them since!" But if they've been away that long, chances are they also stopped to talk about you at some point along the way. Busy women's restrooms are like 'gossip central': "Did you, like, see what she was wearing? Oh my God! I couldn't believe it....". "You saw the girl he was with? Ewwwww! He could do so much better!" The little girls' room is also full of women touching up their make-up and it's good etiquette not to block others from the sink while doing this. I mean, ahem, so I'm told... I never understood why women make such a big fuss over men leaving the toilet seat up. Just put it back down again. Problem solved. And ladies, give us a break! We don't shoot point blank like you do, so occasionally we're going to miss! Be thankful for those of us who actually do lift the seat because, for your information, many men don't! Very, very few public washrooms don't look like they've been hit by tsunamis in Bahrain. It seems that using a toilet in anything less than a five-star hotel is an experience you'll live to regret. When all is said and done, you're probably better off just holding it until you get back home! (for large attatchments)
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