THE relationship between men and women is seriously confused in Bahrain. A guy and a girl being seen together in public draws stares because the immediate assumption is that they are going out. A platonic bond between members of the opposite sex seems beyond most people's understanding, skewing the whole dynamic of that relationship (for example, you don't bring shame upon yourself and family by talking to an old school friend and no one should tell you different). Many men interpret the most insignificant sign from a woman, such as the briefest of eye contact, as a hint that she is interested.

Listen, guys; have some standards! Don't act like an animal attacking anything that moves, just because it's female. And remember that there is a time and place for everything. If a girl is out shopping and not giving out any signals, chances are she wants to be left alone. When a girl is interested, the signs are usually very clear. Besides, she's got two babies and a wedding ring. What makes you so sure, she's going to throw it all away and run off with you out of all the other ugly animals out there?

Guys. No matter how hot they dress or what they dangle in front of you, don't stare at them (don't give them the satisfaction!). Keep your eyes to yourself (as much as is humanly possible) or at least don't make it too obvious. Don't humiliate yourself by chasing after them like they're goddesses, because then it just goes to their heads. And if you're the type who follows a woman from Adliya all the way back to her home in East Riffa, what you're basically telling her is that you have no life (and that you might be a dangerous psychopath). On the other hand, if you play it cool sometimes they come after you (trust me on this one, son).

These men's desperate behaviour may be partly because half the female population seems to be in hibernation in this country. And this what you get when you pluck a guy from a traditional, segregated, environment and drop him in a modern setting like, say, a shopping mall or university. Of course, they won't know how to behave if they've hardly ever interacted with the opposite sex.

It's also the case that some women actually do respond to these tactics, which encourages persistence. The term in psychology is ‘Variable Interval Reinforcement'; when people are rewarded inconsistently for certain behaviours, they try even harder because they never know when it will pay-off.

Unfortunately, pests like these (including older men who should know better) give the rest of us a bad name. Women actually strategically go places to avoid men, which is a very unhealthy phenomenon in any society. The slightest bit of attention makes many of them assume that they are being hit on. This is an insult which I can't help but take personally.

Listen lady, just because I may look or smile at you, doesn't necessarily mean I think you're hot. Being nice enough to help you out with something, doesn't mean I'm trying to get in your pants. Set aside your delusions of superiority, sister, and get yourself some therapy while you're at it. And a wax. And plastic surgery. I'm a newspaper columnist; women go out of their way to get to know me (yes, it has gone to my head)! Take your ticket and get in line!

tariqk1976@hotmail.com 

tkhonji@yahoo.com

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