With the elections looming, it's becoming impossible to avoid all the faces staring back at you from billboards on street corners all over the country. Deciding who to vote for may be overwhelming, especially considering how badly we messed up in 2002.

We had MPs declaring rock concerts devil worshipping ceremonies; they tried to ban books; they made Bahrain's Press laws even more stifling than they used to be and threatened to stop the whole Formula One thing in its tracks because they were afraid it would attract prostitutes. They even tried to make it illegal for people to make fun of them!

I would love to be a politician, but my IQ is over 14.

Parties which boycotted last time are now taking part, supposedly giving the electorate more choice. But looking at the political scene more closely, I'm not so sure. We've got politicians tainted by scandal, former Maoists, religious extremists and a lot of nobodies to whom I ask: "Who are you and why do you think I would vote for a scary looking guy with a beard, who doesn't even bother to smile for his campaign photograph?"

We do have a leftist movement in Bahrain. They wouldn't be so bad, except that they've formed tactical alliances with the opposition religious parties. So if you vote for the liberals, you're also indirectly supporting much more powerful religious groups that would love nothing better than to turn the country into a theocracy. They're the ones who tried to ban mannequins in Muharraq and succeeded in putting an end to live concerts at the Bahrain International Exhibition Centre and Dana Mall, because their proximity to Sanabis village was somehow perceived to be dangerous. They also failed to condemn a violent act which forced the closure of a popular restaurant because it served alcohol. And the list goes on. Barking dogs are bad enough, but when they get into power and start biting, watch out. Do we really want to help elect people who cannot be reasoned with?

The sad fact is that if liberal politicians ignored Bahrain's overwhelmingly conservative electorate, they probably wouldn't have any political muscle at all. Obvious examples are female candidates, some of whom never wore the hijab before, looking very devout and virtuous all of a sudden. They're just doing what politicians do, which is to pander to the lowest common denominator in order to get votes, so really they're not hypocrites. Maybe. So if the liberals are sending out mixed messages and the extremists are a no go, who's left? We all know that at the end of the day, most people are going to base their votes on whether the candidate is Sunni or Shi'ite, so is it worth voting at all?

Despite all of the above, the answer is still 'yes'. While their powers are limited, which MPs get into office will shape the political environment over the next four years. They can slow the legislative process down so much that almost nothing will get done. They also have the power to sack ministers and bully them into doing stupid things (recent decisions that are helping to kill the tourism industry come to mind). And when all this makes front page news in other countries, it definitely gives Bahrain a bad name.

If all the candidates in your constituency look like they escaped from Tora Bora, the mental institution or the local dog show, pick the one that seems least threatening. I've already chosen mine (who is actually quite intelligent, but if I tried to endorse her here, she'd probably sue me or something). So go out and vote this election season. You won't change the world, but if you're lucky you just might prevent an idiot from getting into office, which is no small feat in this political landscape.

And look at the bright side ... at least it's not a beauty contest!

tariqk1976@hotmail.com 

tkhonji@yahoo.com

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